As parents we want the very best for our children, and we will do most anything to provide it for them. In many families both parents now work to make ends meet.
Two parent working families has become a way of life. The choice to stay home is not an option for many. This makes it ever more important that the time we do spend with our children is time well spent.
Parents often raise the concern with me that being gone for work all day may prevent them from providing the best environment for their children. Most experts on young children agree that if certain environmental factors in the home are present parents need not worry about how their children are developing.
Here are those factors mentioned most often:
Love – More than anything else, children grow up well-adjusted and able to manage life better when they experience parental love. Nothing else comes close that enables your child to properly manage their day when you are not there.
Attention – We are all tired when we get home from working all day. So attention to your child especially is not so easy to do. Try this. Tell them to give you fifteen minutes to help you make your transition from work to home. After that, invite them to express themselves in conversations that allow their input. This gives a child the emotional support they need and the feeling that they belong. Attention, even if not given immediately tells them we care.
Perseverance – Try not to leave all of this at work. Strong kids come from homes where perseverance and persistence are emphasized and rewarded. In these homes a child is coached and encouraged not to give up.
Caring--We are the real teachers for showing our kids examples of empathy, understanding and awareness of others. Children will learn by our example and how we show concern for other people.
Individuality – Allow your child to be their own person. When a child likes themself they develop a sense of being valued and respected. Encourage children to follow their own path and avoid "following the group" A child needs adult support during stressful situations but usually makes up their own mind when alone.
Honesty – Children who are raised in homes where integrity and honesty are valued seldom grow up as irresponsible adults. A child begins to understand the difference between the truth and lies, and will be truthful to the extent of their understanding of how important the truth is to you. A child will learn to express their views appropriately and to stand up for developing a sense of what is right and wrong.
Hope – It is be impossible to keep all the world's problems away from your child. You cannot fix everything for them or make everything OK. What children need to see is a family that is willing to work together on their problems. Very little happens in a family that even small children do not see. We want our child to come to us and seek help when their hope is being challenged.
We need to help our child to see the world as an interesting and enjoyable even when we don't. A little dose of hope from you will help your child to grow up anticipating opportunities instead of problems. It gives them a sense they have a positive place in the world and opportunities to look forward to
None of these are ideas are new. We probably grew up with some of them being met and can state all too well which one's were not in our families. We often overlook one or many of them given our own daily pressures.
But we may be able to help our kids by remaining mindful of them. They play an important role in their future which is why we are all working so hard to begin with.