Wednesday Wisdom ~ stop complaining and use your time wisely

By Amanda Pasciucco

There are numerous things to stress and worry about, but it appears as if all the time stressing is quite unproductive. Every day, you can witness people becoming upset over things they cannot change: people yelling while stuck in traffic, foot tapping while anxiously waiting in line, or yelling over a rule or regulation.In all of these scenarios (traffic, waiting in line, a rule), the frustration you are experiencing is not going to change the situation, so why stress?

As a young psychologist, Dr. Wayne Dyer talked about a client that came into his office complaining about her mother. The client told Dyer that she always wanted to ride a bike as a child and that her mother wouldn't let her. Dr. Dyer got up and told the client to follow him. They walked to Dyer's garage and he took out his bicycle. "What's that?" the client asked. Dr. Dyer responded "A bike. You said you wanted to ride one." The client shook her head and stated, "No, I don't want to ride a bike. I wanted to know why I wasn't allowed to ride a bike." Dr. Dyer responded, "Let's get on the bike and we can begin to undo some of the anger you have over not being able to ride." This client is an example of a person who wants to continue complaining instead of acting. In life, do you want to be a person who complains or acts?

Stop complaining and learn to use your time wisely. Your frustration or anxiety doesn't change anything. Actually, living in anger or fear is very restricting for your personal development. These qualities are completely non-productive and continue to fuel unhappiness and mental torment. This week, try to take a positive step and think before you complain. Instead of using your mental energy to stress yourself out, use your time wisely and be productive. The positive benefits from a few hours of productivity will be much more helpful for your overall well-being than a minute of complaining. One day, you have to just ride the bike...

*Amanda Pasciucco is a Ridgefield resident regular contributor to Wilton HamletHub and her column, "Wednesday Wisdom" appears, well, every Wednesday. Amanda Pasciucco, M.A. MFT, is an individual, couple, and family therapist with a private practice in Wilton, Connecticut. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree from Providence College and a Master’s Degree from the University of Connecticut in the field of Human Development and Family Studies. She works with children and specializes in play therapy, parent training, anxiety, depression, ADHD, and working with clients who have trauma histories. Amanda is a member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists and currently enrolled in a certificate program for holistic sex therapy and sex education. She currently educates and empowers women through her business Pure Romance by Amanda, where she hosts events for adult women to learn more about their relationships and romantic lives. While in college, she was a Victim’s Helpline Advocate and provided support for victims of domestic violence, rape, and sexual assault. Currently, she is working on publishing her first book. For more information, you can visit her website at www.therapybyamanda.com.

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