There are posts all over social media, Facebook in particular, reminding us that not everyone is finding joy in the holiday season. Not everyone has holiday pictures of a loving family to post or stories to tell of the past year that make them feel connected or happy.
Many of us with infertility feel gratitude. Joy and gratitude are not the same thing though. And knowing that there are many reasons in our lives to feel grateful about is one thing- feeling gratitude is something else. Knowing that we are blessed enough to be able to live inside, have running water, have a roof over our heads, and food in our bellies is not the same thing as feeling it. Numb is a feeling or lack of feeling, that many of us associate with unsuccessful fertility treatment cycles. Numb from disappointment and sadness.
Yes, we know we should be grateful. And often we are grateful.
Lisa Schuman, Director of Mental Health at Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut (RMACT) responded last year to a question sent to her regarding the writer's lack of happiness. Ms. Schuman's response?
"Who said you have to be happy?"
What a great and appropriate question.
Maybe happy is a bit much to expect when you've just had a failed cycle. Maybe joyous is a real stretch too.
Read Ms. Schuman's entire answer HERE and give yourself a break about how you "should" be feeling this holiday season.