*This article is Part two of a three part series.
Part 2*: Say Goodbye to Your Shy. Top Three Reasons Why!
A little bit of shyness is normal and quite common. The key is recognizing when shyness or social anxiety prevents you from getting what you need! For example, shyness can create a barrier to interviewing effectively for a job, networking for your business or building meaningful relationships.
Part 1 introduced three common causes of shyness and why understanding them matters. This installment, Part 2, proposes three reasons why shedding shyness is critical for a happy and fulfilling life.
Interviewing successfully for a job: I can remember some nerve-racking interviews when the questions were tough and I didn’t feel comfortable enough with myself. Predictably, I did not get the job! When you approach an interview not only with adequate preparation but also being comfortable in our own skin, you are more likely to succeed. Confidence in your self-worth paired with a willingness to put yourself out there is the best preparation you can have.
Part 1 discussed the importance of getting to know yourself deeply. This deep connection with what truly matters to you is required in order to interview confidently. Self knowledge acts as a compass to keep you on the right track.
Trying different jobs overseas right after college helped illuminate my path, but a weekend seminar I took in 2013 called, “What to do With the Rest of Your Life” made a huge difference. The coach in this seminar pointed out each instance when my face lit up talking about the kinds of work I like best - shining a brighter light on my path. As a result, I discovered that my passion for engaging people, selling and public speaking were critical clues to guide my career search. This deeper understanding of yourself makes networking easier and more fruitful.
Networking effectively: Have you ever attended a networking event where someone seemed hesitant to introduce himself and talk about the problems his business solves? Maybe this person gave his sales pitch reading from a paper or smartphone instead of from memory. Perhaps another networker spent more time eating alone than mingling, because she felt too shy to approach people.
In 2015, I attended a New York City networking event where most of the 85 networkers read their 30-second commercials aloud from their phones. Not an effective way to engage the rest of us and convince us to hire them! Don’t be shy! Ditch the script and internalize your message for authentic delivery. If you can conquer social inhibitions and approach people enthusiastically and confidently, you can forge higher quality connections. This also applies to your social life.
Building social relationships: Can you remember a time when you felt too shy or socially awkward to approach someone you wanted to meet? I experienced this a lot in high school and college and it was debilitating. Making small talk with girls I liked took tremendous effort. I can still remember standing motionless, unable to get the words out of my head. If only I had been more confident and socially adept at that age!
Over time I developed courage and became more confident in my ability to socialize. This took all of high school and most of college to achieve, but my biggest leap came after college. It happened when I stopped worrying what other people thought of me. It was then that I realized I didn’t care if I asked a girl out and she said no. There would always be another girl. I didn’t care if a potential client didn’t want to work with me. There would always be another client! Just risking rejection is what’s important, not the rejection itself. The outcome of my attempts was a mixture of failure and success - once I came to peace with this, I stopped worrying about possible rejection and simply began to enjoy the process of taking risks. For an epic story on handling rejection read the book Rejection Proof, by Jia Jiang.
The moment you stop worrying about how people might respond to you and start enjoying the process of reaching out, the better results you will see. Shedding shyness is the first step!
Oscar Romero is Founder and President of OscarRomeroSpeaks, providing solutions for shy or socially anxious people to say goodbye to being shy in order to approach professional and social situations confidently and realize their dreams.
He lives in Bethel, CT. To learn more about shedding shyness click https://www.oscarromerospeaks.com/
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