DSABC thank you luncheon highlights healthy bonds
For one hour a week during the school year, hundreds of mentors volunteer with Danbury Schools and Business Collaborative (DSABC) to support students who need an adult in their lives.
More than two dozen of those mentors attended this year’s annual luncheon on Jan. 30, to meet other mentors and learn about communicating effectively with students who may be struggling with difficult feelings. The event was held at Cartus Corporation.
This year’s keynote speakers were Ginny Ayres and Rebecca Strang from The Southfield Center for Development in Darien who presented “Connections First: Making sense of challenging family dynamics.” Southfield Center is a family-centered, interdisciplinary practice dedicated to providing comprehensive evaluation and care across a wide range of ages and challenges.
“DSABC mentors work with a wide range of students of varying ages and backgrounds, so they sometimes struggle with how to handle certain situations,” said Ellen Meyst, DSABC executive director. “Today’s workshop was an opportunity to pose questions about challenges they are facing with students and get guidance from Ginny and Rebecca as well as input from other mentors and school staff in attendance.”
Ayres said that some students who work with mentors can be at-risk or have problems with parents at home. She said this is where mentors play a pivotal role in a child’s life and for mentors to be aware that “behavior is communication” and by acting out a student may be expressing confusion or feelings of being worthless.
“Mentors can play a replacement parent role,” said Ayres, who explained that children need unconditional love and acceptance. If they don’t receive those, usually from a parent, it can result in low self-esteem. Mentors can facilitate a child’s learning appropriate behavior.
“Try to help them find that safe space and that connection with you,” Ayres said. “It’s important to respond and not react.”
The Southfield facilitators also suggested that mentors reflect on themselves as parents and mentors and think about how they were treated themselves as children and how they deal with their own children now. That same approach can be used to deal with students they are mentoring.
DSABC mentor Bob Port, who works with a DHS sophomore, suggested a strategy he uses to make his points more relatable. Due to the generation gap, he relays experience of his own children rather than himself and has found his mentee is more open to listening to those stories.
Port said the annual luncheon and other events sponsored by DSABC are great support builders for the mentors.
“Any time mentors can get together to share ideas with other mentors, it can be a valuable experience,” Port said.
DSABC is a nonprofit organization that provides a school-based mentoring program for Danbury Public Schools. DSABC matches supportive and caring adults with students to develop a one-on-one relationship. Mentors serve as positive adult role models providing moral support and encouragement. The objective of the program is to improve academic performance, attendance, behavior, attitude toward school and, most importantly, self-esteem and motivation. There are nearly 250 mentors who volunteer their time each week.