DSABC mentor program fosters appreciation
For the past six years, Danbury High School junior Christian DeBarros has had a mentor from Danbury Schools and Business Collaborative (DSABC) – so long, he says, he barely remembers life without her.
Sherry Cheng-Dexter, a finance project manager at Cartus Corporation, met Christian when he was a fifth-grader at the Academy of International Studies, Danbury’s magnet elementary school.
She had always been involved in volunteering, at animal shelters and with Big Brothers and Sisters. However, when a colleague told her about DSABC’s mentoring program, Cheng-Dexter thought it would be a great experience.
DSABC is a nonprofit organization that provides a school-based mentoring program for Danbury Public Schools. DSABC matches supportive and caring adults with students to develop a one-on-one relationship. Mentors serve as positive adult role models providing moral support and encouragement. The objective of the program is to improve academic performance, attendance, behavior, attitude toward school and, most importantly, self-esteem and motivation. There are nearly 175 mentors who volunteer their time each week.
Part of the program’s training is learning about what a mentor is – someone who doesn’t discipline, but instead sets a good example and brings a positive attitude and good listening skills.
During a recent mentoring session, Christian recalled when he did “something dumb” in the sixth grade and Cheng-Dexter’s positive attitude and good listening skills were exactly what set him back on the right path. The teen said it is a huge benefit in his life to have someone who is encouraging and supportive and not judgmental to talk to about issues.
“She said that I needed to improve and do better,” said Christian, who also said he’s more open-minded and less shy because of his relationship with a mentor. Even though Christian comes from a supportive family, he said a relationship with a mentor is different than with the other adults in his life.
As a result of being able to express himself without discipline or judgment, Christian has grown to be more mature, responsive and appreciative, Cheng-Dexter said.
While their one-hour meetings at the school during the academic once centered around games such as Chutes and Ladders, Uno and Crazy Eights, the meetings this year are more focused on Christian’s future – and educating Cheng-Dexter on the latest technology.
“He keeps me young showing me the latest apps,” Cheng-Dexter said. “And we talk about his future beyond high school. I’m always encouraging him to do what he likes.”
“I like history and am thinking of maybe becoming a professor,” he said.
Cheng-Dexter immediately said that the biggest change in Christian over the past five years is that he’s now taller than she. But upon deeper reflection, Cheng-Dexter said his biggest change is that he has learned a greater appreciation for the gifts in his life.
“He comes from a good family, and he knows he’s lucky,” she said. “It’s good to see him appreciate things. He’s very sweet and he’s always respectful.”
Cheng-Dexter doesn’t like to take credit for Christian’s positive growth and sometimes thinks he doesn’t need a mentor anymore. But Christian says the relationship has given him more confidence and made him more open, and he thinks about things more clearly.
“I have seen through Christian that you can learn from a mentor to be a better person overall and appreciate things,” said Cheng-Dexter. “But as a mentor I’ve learned things too: I’ve learned to be more patient and really listen to what he says. It’s been great watching him grow into a young man.”