Both Sandy Hook and Parkland Teacher Hid Students from Active Shooter: Open Letter

You are so much stronger than you feel right now.

- Kaitlin Roig-DeBellis

Yesterday, a heroic Broward County high school teacher, Melissa Falkowski, saved the lives of her 19 students by hiding them in a closet when a gunman opened fire at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School.

Like that Broward County teacher, former Sandy Hook Elementary School teacher, Kaitlin Roig-DeBellis saved the lives of her 15 first graders by piling them into a tiny bathroom inside of her classroom to protect them from an active shooter. That was five years and three months ago. 

Today, Roig-DeBellis wrote a letter to Ms. Falkowski. She has given HamletHub permission to publish her open letter. The letter was first published in Glamour Magazine.

Dear Ms. Falkowski,

I want to say I understand. I guess mostly because five years and three months ago, no one said that to me. I remember the weight of darkness and the feeling that I was drowning in unfathomable, unreasonable despair: How? Why? The questions kept coming; the answers, unfortunately, did not. And so I’m writing to you in the hopes that I can help to bridge the gap between yesterday and today. Otherwise known as, your After.

I know that you went to school yesterday filled with mental notes, plans, I’m sure some worries: Would you get it all done? Were your students prepared for the upcoming test? Did you provide enough support to your struggling student(s)? I know you did not go to school worrying, Will I be able to keep my students alive? I know that thought never entered your mind. And yet at the end of your day, and that’s exactly what you were tasked with.

I remember returning home that cold December night and feeling such a heavy sense of loss. It was palpable, it was heavy, it was unconscionable. And yet it was. So I want to tell you some things that, only having walked through that, only after five years and three months, only after a lot of reflection, and a lot of support and love, I now know:

You are a hero. I know, it’s not a word you associate with (I still don’t), but perhaps I, as an outside party, can make you believe this. A hero is an ordinary person who rises to the occasion under remarkable circumstance. That was you today. You are a hero—don’t ever forget it.

Use your voice, share your story. It will help someone (probably many). It will enable someone who finds themselves in the midst of their own despair to, if nothing else, know that they are not alone. You will not find answers to all of your whys: Why did this happen? Why our school? Why us? For years I felt like this, but now I realized those questions will never be answered. Know that there are so many questions that can be. Focus on those. Find the answers to those.

The "club" that you have now joined is one that no one wants to be a part of and has unfortunately grown exponentially in the past five years.

You are so much stronger than you feel right now. It’s a funny thing how our bodies carry us through the trauma, but then leave us feeling depleted, withered, and wholly terrified. Remember your strength.

There is no moving on, only moving forward. This day will forever be a part of you. I am sure you are already well aware of that, so don’t allow anyone to make you feel that you "should" be over it. You don’t forget the sounds of people screaming, pleading, all the while thinking you are going to be next. That’s not something you ever just get over. You never will be over it. But you will move forward, each and every day, you will persevere. You already have.

Know that what you have endured—the sights, sounds, memories that reverberate in your mind (over and over)—are just that now, memories. You can make the decision for yourself that what has happened to you does not have to define you. You instead define your life moving forward.

What happened today, in your school, your home, where until today you felt so very safe, has happened where you never thought it would. I know my first thought in 2012 was "Columbine is happening here, in my idyllic school of Sandy Hook." And it has only gotten worse; the "club" that you have now joined is one that no one wants to be a part of and has unfortunately grown exponentially in the past five years. We as witnesses to these atrocities against innocent individuals do have a voice; we do have a choice: We can stand up and say enough is enough. Since Sandy Hook, there have been more senseless atrocities related to gun violence than I can count. When will our country wake up and realize that no civilian needs such powerful, rapid-fire guns? We need change; it is clear that what we have been doing (or not doing) is not working. As Gandhi so eloquently said, "You must be the change that you wish to see in our world." You can be that change.

God bless, and know that, above all else, you are not alone.

With gratitude,

Kaitlin M. Roig-DeBellis


 

Roig-DeBellis is the author of Choosing Hope: Moving Forward from Life's Darkest Hours and founder of nonprofit Classes 4 Classes.

Photo credit: Norman Jean Roy

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Submitted by Ridgefield, CT

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