Just Ask Jocelyn - Should I Tell My Friend?

Should I tell my friend that bright purple eye shadow is out?

Ask yourself this first: Is it that bad? Is it worth risking your friend possibly kicking you to the curb? In my experience, unless you know someone extremely well, you don't know what you're going to get when you go down the criticism road. Within my circle of friends, I know exactly who would be open to having a discussion like that, even at that minutia level. You know how it goes... It all depends on the day, the hour or what happened last night, which can all affect that conversation going well or not.

If you are feeling like you must save your buddy from beauty tragedy, you can broach the subject by telling her that a brown or soft peach color would look great with her complexion. In the past, I have used the "I read an article in InStyle that says people with blue eyes should use soft brown or even plum colors on their eyelids for great impact." Once you say it, put on your sensitive hat and gauge her reaction. You will know in a pinch if she's open to hearing what you have to say or not.

My friend has terrible posture. It's practically painful to witness. How do I mention it without being insulting?

Oy. I have terrible posture and would kill for friends to remind me to sit up straight. But that's me. My terrible habit of slouching slightly started in my pre-teen years. It's a tough one to call out because it's not 100% conscious, and if one wasn't taught or have inherently good posture, it would be a full U-Haul of training to attempt to adjust. Women who were dancers or had parents who forced their girls into dancing or ballet school (or sitting with books on their head) were smart.

With that said, mention that your posture is terrible and that you are taking Pilates to clean it up. Tell her how fun the classes are. Ask her to join you and see if she goes for the bait. If she doesn't, keep loving her for who she is.

Send your lifestyle or workstyle questions to Jocelyn at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.


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